A thought on believing

And that's the thing about believing.
It's not real.
Like the tooth fairy, or Santa Clause.
Or love.
But I will allow myself to believe,
over and over again,
that love is strong enough to conquer anything.
That it's stronger than bickering,
and fights,
and having to say 'I'm sorry'.
My best friend.
My punching bag.
My love.

This is not an act of a vanity

I smile a lot when I see my own reflection. I practice lifting my mouth up and down, review my cheeks as if they are some math problem to solve. I am pretty sure that I've perfected the positioning of my face and how it should feel while smiling. The key is to concentrate on not looking overly happy, but then again, not looking like how I really feel either. I do this so I am prepared with a smile when I run into someone in the hallway or at the supermarket, so I have a picture in my head of what other people see when they look at me. It really is an art to appear nonchalant and carefree, while working carefully and meticulously to hold my face in the position that I see when I practice looking in the mirror. It's a fine balance and I think I've got it down.

Do you think so, too?