pain

It's rather tough to explain, but I'll try...

I guess the best way to describe it would be like when you're a little kid and everyone tells you not to touch a hot stove because it'll hurt you. It'll burn and bubble and then leave a disgusting, fleshy, bloody scab. And when that scab becomes a scar its a constant reminder of the choice you made. And when people say 'what happened to you to get such a scar?' you'll have to tell them the idiotic thing you did to get the tremendous wound.

But some sick, twisted, fucked up part of you wants to touch the stove... mostly to make sure that everyone else isn't crazy and lying to you when they say it will be painful. But also, you do it because you want so badly too feel something-deeply and intensely- even if that feeling is horrible and won't go away for a long time.

Or ever.

You. Are. My. Scar.

That about explains it.