Friday, April 19, 2024

this alarm is my prison/ this is the performance of a lifetime

when i wake up
i close my eyes
am i dead?
i ask myself quietly
im asleep on the inside

funny how a moment
can feel like forever
my heart is beating
outside of my chest
i stare from the inside out
all i see is black
as i imagine my life
but imagining will be
the death of me

tick

tock

this alarm is my prison
its time to start the day
play pretend
wake up
its almost time for my entrance
give me an oscar
this is the performance of a lifetime
but no one knows

its tucked inside my heart
the little secret only i know
im the only one on earth
what if i don't get up
what if i just fade
like nothing memorable
except maybe to a few
the lies we tell ourselves
might as will be real
no ones gonna save me

but

what

do

you

do

when

you

dont

want

to

be

saved?

i cant explain this darkness
i am possessed
i tell myself
there must be something
wrong with me
but only i can see
i revel in this pain
strength is what i need to breathe
my heart overflows
with years of broken dreams

i walk a mile
just to stand up
just to wake up
just to do it again
over and over again
until when?

i do this to myself

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